Hate Mail

Some would say I asked for it by writing 13 Years in America, in which I question many prevailing norms and values.

They’d be right. I knew 13 Years in America would shake some people and offend others, and I chose to write it anyway. So I shouldn’t be surprised if some of the people who read my book are upset by it.

Still, whether I asked for it or not, I was shaken by the e-mail I received the other day. Not because the person disagreed with what I say in my book, and not because the person was upset by my perspective. I was shaken because the person attacked me on a personal level.

As I read through it, I was aware of the fact that in a way, I had welcomed this e-mail. By providing my real e-mail address at the end of my book and welcoming contact from readers, I had opened myself up to personal attacks.

Hurt and upset by the e-mail, my first thought was to shut the account down. Remove access. But, tempting as that idea was, it didn’t feel right. I have worked hard to connect with readers in an honest, authentic way, and limiting communication would undermine that effort.

Being open for communication, I realize, means more than welcoming fan mail. It requires taking a risk and being open to different opinions, perspectives, and personalities. It means taking the chance of being on the receiving end of someone’s rant and personal attacks. Real communication isn’t sugar-coated. It’s genuine and, sometimes, rude. It might not always be easy, but it’s real.  

So I’ll keep myself open to all communication in order to keep it real. Even the (hopefully one and only piece of) hate mail.